How To Live Without You

I already lost you once
I dealt with the heartbreak
I dealt with the pain
I picked myself back up
And I transformed into someone new
So you see
Love you I do
But if you walk away again
You've already taught me
How to live without you

True

A,
   This one's for you
You know our love was true
But distance and time wasn't kind
We can't rewind and regain
There's to much pain
Over time we'll be fine
Find someone new
Just always remember
Our feelings were true

Lie

Why you lied I don't know
But your feelings showed
But you feared something new
Guess what I did too
We had fun all this time
Making jokes on the line
But you went back that's a fact that you failed to tell
But it's okay, it was new
Its not like I was in love with you



P.S. In case you ever read this; I do hope you the best and I still enjoy "making jokes on the line" You're a great guy just do us all a favor and don't lie or leave things out anymore okay?
Also apparently my brain needs something better to think of at work LOL I'm standing there rhyming?! I haven't done this since I was a kid.

Whiskey & Beer

The scars that I left you turned into fear
Instead of those fears bringing tears you bought beers
You said, "Cheers" then you "moved on" but truly all along your feelings were gone
You came back I was here free from my fear
So you fell I could tell but you ran because of your fears
In the end all you'll have is your whiskey and beers

Touch & Kiss

Memories flood my heart and soul

Moments with you where I lost control

Every touch and kiss, every moment was bliss

I know my time with you is over 

Just know this

I will always miss every touch and kiss

My Prayer For Her

  I pray protection over her. 

I pray that she is bold and beautiful inside and outside. 

That her intelligence will match her beauty and that her intelligence will keep her grounded and help her to always make the right decisions. 

May she have a fun and beautiful personality that attracts others to her. 

Let no bad life defining moments cross her path. 

Give her strength that she will depend on no man. Help her to always know that she is WHOLE by herself as she is. 

Never allow her to feel empty. 

Give her grace. 

Let her be giving of her time and her talents. 

And always help her to feel special and loved!  

Hydro Massage

   I went and got my first Hydro Massage today! Oohhhhhh myyyyyyy woooorrrrd! I want that thing in my home! It's SOOO relaxing. If you've never had one please do yourself a favor and go get one.
   I went to a place called Hot Bodz it was great! You can get massages, go tanning, and so much more there. Best thing: They're affordable! So if you're from my area go check it out. If you're a friend of mine I'll gladly go in with you if you feel weird going in the place alone. Though you have no reason to feel weird. The ladies are great and the set up is cool.
   I'm a packer and I work 12 hour shifts my neck, back, shoulders, ..basically everything hurt from my job. I'm feeling so relaxed and amazing right now. I definitely recommend it!
   It does feel a bit funny at first, but just relax and let it do it's thing!  

Lack O' Sleep

   Well hello, Loves! It's been a minute since I've taken the time to post about anything. Life has been a bit busy... and sleepless.
   For those of you who don't know I work nights, 12 hour shifts, and I sleep in the day. Well this weekend I didn't really get a god amount of sleep. Friday before work I had maybe 3 1/2 hours of sleep. Saturday before work I had maybe 4 1/2 hours.
   Well my driving has been interesting because of lack of sleep it's caused this weird feeling and the only way I know how to describe it (which probably isn't right) is that it feels like the car is moving and the scene is changing but like none of that is actually moving. It's very odd.
   Also on my way home Sunday morning I was driving and saw something most people would call it translucent and ghost-like on the interstate I knew it wasn't there and that it was from my lack of sleep, but still weird.
   Then when I got home I was taking off my belt and you know when you're in a black light and you move something and it has that colorful glow that follows? Yeah, no black light and I saw that when I moved my belt.

   All of this added up to me saying yeah I NEED sleep! 

   Sunday I ate and bathed at the same time (Extra time to relax and in hopes that I'd get to bed sooner lol) I slept around 8 hours and then got up, got ready and went to work.
  Finally it's Monday and I'm off work until Wednesday evening! I hear the angels singing Hallelujah LOL

Fear

Fear is a funny thing really. Fear can keep you bound, stuck in one place.

You can fear something better.
You can fear something worse.
You can fear love.
You can fear hate.
You can fear loss.
You can fear gain.
There's really nothing you can't fear.

You can fear leaving the one you're with, even if you're miserable, because of the unknown.
You can fear moving on from someone you love because of the what ifs and what could have been's.
You can fear loving someone more than you loved the person before them because what if it falls apart again.
You can fear falling in love again because then you feel somehow like you lied to all the people before them that you loved.

I know because I've felt all of those. I can tell you I was afraid to move on. I'm scared to love again. I'm terrified of falling in love and things falling apart again.
However I'm also so scared that I'll never feel that kind of love again... and that fear it drives me on. That fear is why I'm trying to learn to live in the moment. I want to love and I want to be loved for every crazy, weird, imperfect part of me and who I am.

I'm brave enough to admit I'm afraid. Are you?

One Day

 One day I hope to come home and you be standing at my door

You need not bring me anything

Only this that you'll say you're mine and only mine forever

Because forever is what I desire...