Ear Piercing (First Time)

Yesterday I got my ears pierced. I've been wanting to pierce my ears for a long time, but I was so nervous I kept thinking, "Its going to hurt so bad!" and "What if I don't like myself with earrings?" Then I reminded myself I've always loved earrings and throughout the past couple years I've worn clip-ons and I've always liked myself in those and that's no different other than the actual holes. Also piercings would hurt less than that darn clip on the ear all day. So I finally plucked up the courage to get my ears pierced. 

I went to my local Jewelers, found the lady who does the piercings, she showed me my options for the studs, she went back and got things prepped, came back and got me and then the fun started. I sat down on the chair, she looked at me and marked my ears with a marker where she thought the earrings should be, she had me check and make sure I agreed and then she got the "gun" and herself prepped, lined up the markings on my ear and the gun, told me she was ready and asked if I was. I told her I was as ready as I was getting and she pierced the first ear.  It was what I'd call a discomfort more than a pain kind of like getting tattoos. I'd heard where people compared the pain to being pinched or a bee sting and I guess that's kind of true if the bee had a bigger stinger. It really wasn't bad at all. 

if you've been wanting to get your ears pierced go do it. Just remember don't tense up, relax, and breath. 

So now I have 6 weeks of studs and lots of piercing cleanings then I'll be able to wear all the earrings I've been dreaming of! A little pain/discomfort for a lifetime of fashion.     

Opposite Schedules

  J and I have been working opposite schedules now and I must admit it's been difficult. We went from always working the same schedules, same days and at the same job to different schedule, mostly different days and different jobs.
I'm used to seeing him all of my waking non-working moments and now I'm fighting for moments to spend with him.
I miss him so much and he misses me.
I've laid in bed during my time to be awake simply so I can cuddle him before he wakes up to go to work. I know I can't do this every day. One day I'll have to accept it and go on with my day as normal. Most of the days I have gone on mostly as usual though I've sat in the bed on those days several times throughout each of them just to watch him sleep and give him kisses in between doing whatever housework.
As he tells me often, "this won't be forever" but man it sure is difficult in the mean time. The MEAN time.. They sure got that right.

Tip(s) To Keep The Love Going #2

  Relationships, they're hard work even when you're with the person you're meant to be with. The sacrifices and selflessness can be exhausting.
Don't waste all your energy on someone who isn't worth it. Trust me, if you use all your energy on someone you aren't supposed to be with in the end you'll end up resenting them and eventually hating them.
Not every relationship is meant to last, some are meant to teach you lessons and to make you stronger. Once the lesson is learned leave.
Now as I said relationships are hard work so don't just give up when something goes wrong. There will be things to work on even with Mr or Mrs Right.
However if you've been with someone and you've communicated and months or, heaven forbid, years have passed and they keep doing things they shouldn't and aren't listening to you and your thoughts and feelings then it's time to leave. You've done all you can do now it's time to do something for yourself.
Leaving is scary, but living the rest of your life having the same fights and never feeling happy, constantly depressed and either overeating or under-eating is no way to live.
Your unhappiness not only hurts you it hurts your loved ones; friends, parents, and your child(ren) experience your pain too even if you don't realize it. Take my son for example he knew things weren't right in my marriage even now, 2 years later, says, "You and daddy fought" he was young but he knew. Children are better off growing up knowing that love doesn't look like that. I will admit my family was rooting for my marriage and not my happiness and it made things harder, but not impossible. One day I stopped listening to them and what they wanted and I took a look at me and my son and what we truly needed then I took the first step.
Love is not on again off again, cheating, fighting, yelling, and hitting.
Love is having an argument and taking a moment to cool off then sitting down and talking, love is cuddling up together, random kisses, lovingly and without judgement correcting the person when they're wrong (NOT standing by their side and agreeing with them when they're wrong!), love is protecting them by never purposefully doing anything to hurt them, love is NEVER lying to them even if what you have to say is going to hurt them, love is allowing them to have feelings and choices and a voice in your relationship, love is noticing the small things that they've done (even if it's a small as they've cleaned the dishes but the whole rest of the house is a mess. You still thank them for doing the dishes without a "but you could or should have done ____")...
Loving someone does not mean they are the one for you. Don't miss out on The One because you have love for this one. Had I stayed in my marriage I would have missed out on The One, a love like I've never known, understanding and compassion, a bond, a spark, a best friend, someone who wants to have those little life arguments with me, who wants me to correct him lovingly when he's wrong, someone who wants to randomly dance in the kitchen with me,...
I'd love to be able to only give advice to make every relationship last, but then you would miss out on the person you've been waiting for your whole life... Nothing is worth missing out on that...
I can give the advice, but you have to make the moves. Be bold, be strong. There's more strength trapped inside of you than you know and you'll never know if you don't take the leap. It will hurt but it will get better, I'm living proof.

Tip(s) To Keep The Love Going

   If you're like me you have a lot of past hurts and sometimes when your boyfriend (girlfriend, fiance, or spouse) upsets you, you tend to withdrawal.
Common sense: withdrawing from someone you love hurts your relationship.
If you really love them you don't want to do something that is going to damage that relationship, you want to do things to help it to grow and last. So I wanted to share something I do all the time, no matter my mood, even when I'm upset at my guy.
Kiss them randomly while you're going throughout your day together. Be it at the grocery store, sitting on the couch watching tv, while you're cooking and have a spare second, at a restaurant, etc.
Kiss them while they sleep; it doesn't have to be on the lips you can kiss their cheek or forehead, arms or back. The point isn't to wake them or even for them to know (no harm done if they know though) it's to help your personal love for them to continue to grow.
And kiss them even when you're upset/mad at them. I know that can be hard, but if you really love them think of it this way.
If something was to happen to him (her) or myself how awful would I feel later or how awful would they feel about that being the last moment? How much would I regret not putting aside how I'm momentarily feeling to kiss him (her)?
That thought can bring me to tears and have me running to wherever he is. That moment of hurt and pain is not worth the possibility of an eternity of "I wish I would have"

I know for some what I said is a "duh" but even people who know this fail to put it into practice. Practice it.
I'm not saying you have to kiss them while they sleep every day, maybe just once a week take a moment to kiss them, watch them sleep and just remember how lucky you are to have them.
However, you should be kissing every day. Couples need that intimacy. No, I'm not talking about the kissing that leads to the bedroom, though that needs to be happening too. I'm talking about the simple PDA kiss that's appropriate to do in front of all ages, it's amazing what that simple kiss can accomplish.
One of my favorite things J does is just wraps an arm around me and places a 3-5 second gentle kiss on my head. He does this at home when no one is around, at family dinners surrounded by our loved ones and in the middle of stores surrounded by strangers. Its a simple moment that lets me know he loves me and it always improves my mood.

9 Months

   J and I have been together 9 months! Our 1 year anniversary is slowly, but surely creeping its way here. I'm excited for it to be here, but honestly it feels like we've been together SOOO much longer.
  For those who don't know J and I met in March of 2017, on my birthday. We met at work, it was his first day. Normally I don't talk to people I don't know, but people kept saying he looked SOO familiar and I had to know why, so I asked him. We've been talking ever since that day, not as people interested in each other, but as friends.
He had a girlfriend at the time and I was hooked on some idiot who thought he knew more than me. He talked about his things with his girlfriend and I talked about what was going on with the guys I'd been interested in.
We went to breakfast together after work sometimes, text each other when we weren't working, and we talked nearly all night long while at work. Over the months he grew to be one of my best friends.
After around 4 months of us talking and being best friends his relationship ended and every attempt I'd had at being in a relationship had failed.
Since we were both single we started hanging out a lot outside of work just as friends, going out to eat, celebrating his birthday, going to the fair, etc.
Before I knew it I realized I liked him as more than just my best friend though I was terrified I would end up hurting him after all the pain I'd been dealt in the past. I knew he already liked me though he denied it constantly. I admitted that I liked him and we've been a couple ever since, though I still made him officially ask me, which he did about a week later. Lol.
I fell for him quickly, after all he was my best friend already and we had talked about nearly everything completely open and honest before we'd started dating. He was easy to fall for because he's so different from what I'm used to. It's safe to say he is The One. I can easily see myself growing old with him, even when he's upset me. I may be wishing life away, which I certainly don't want to do, but I'm so excited to share all the new stages of life and of our relationship with him.  I couldn't have asked for anyone better 💗 

Communication - Is It Really The Most Important Part of a Relationship?

   We always hear that communication is the most important part/key in a relationship, while I agree that it is extremely important, is it really the most important?
   I was taking a quiz on Facebook and came across the age old question "What is the most important thing in a relationship?" Anytime I'm asked this I have a hard time answering, I want to say communication because that's what I've always heard is the correct answer, however it never feels right to me. Honestly I sat there, way longer than I should have for it being a Facebook quiz, pondering what I thought was the correct answer.
   As I sat there I thought about old relationships/"relationships" and one in particular came to mind where the communication was always there, however, what they said were lies. I immediately knew the correct answer, Trust. Your companion can sit there and talk to you all day long, but if what they're saying is lies, none of it matters. They can sit there and tell you how they feel and still be cheating on you and lying about you behind your back.
   It's simple if you can't trust them you shouldn't be with them. You don't want to go through your life questioning where they are, what they're doing, if what they're telling you is true; that's miserable!


I'm not sure why, but this thought just would not leave me alone, I took that quiz about a week ago and couldn't shake the feeling that I needed to share my thought.
If this is for you. I hope you listen and that this helps you. I'm sorry that you've had to deal with a person who was all talk but no truth. From the bottom of my heart I hope that things start looking up for you.

Pre-Vacation Tips

   So you're going on vacation, Congrats! I'm sure if you're anything like me there are years and years between your vacations where you actually go somewhere and do something, so you definitely deserve this vacation.
   I'm currently on vacation and I figured I'd give you some helpful tips on how to get ready for your vacation. These are tips that I use and they can definitely make things easier for you before and after your vacation.
 
  Tip 1: Make your checklists.
So your vacation is all planned you know where you're going and you have all the reservations made for your hotel, travel, etc. Awesome start! If not, tip my first tip can be helpful for that too.
You'll want a checklist for all the things you'll need to make reservations for, as each reservations is made check it off that way you can't loose track of what thing needs done next and later on you don't have to question if it was completed or not. 
Make a checklist of all the necessities you need to pack.
                                   Example of my current checklist
- Shirts (2)
- Pants (2)
- Underwear (2)
- Socks (2)
- Swimwear
- Toothbrush & Toothpaste
- Brush
- Shampoo & Conditioner
- Body wash
- Loofah
-Cell phone
- Cell phone chargers
- Makeup
- Jewelry
- Wallet

Now if you're going somewhere, like me, that you'll need snacks and/or food be sure to make a grocery list and go grab what you'll need.
                                                     Example
- Chips
- Snack cakes
- Pop and/or water
- Wine and/or sparkling grape juice (for if it's a nice place/occasion)
- Lunch
- Dinner
Be sure to bring enough to get you through the entire vacation.

Also make a checklist of everything you need to do before you leave. We'll talk about this later.

Once again, for every checklist make sure once the item is packed or completed to check it off!

   Tip 2: Preparing your food to take with you, if necessary
You're going somewhere and you don't want to starve, but you also don't want to take a lot of time cooking. Completely understandable. Think of meals that you know how to cook and narrow it down to the easiest recipes. They don't need to be showy meals, just something so you aren't hungry and grumpy on your vacation. I chose to do Hamburger Helpers that we like, Cheesy Taco and Cheesy Pasta. Yeah, we're cheesy. I cooked them the night before and stored them in the fridge in tubberware, each meal separated in plastic bags. For things like the tacos we wanted cheese, sour cream, hot sauce, etc. so I put those things in ziploc bags or little tubberwares and stuck those in the bags with the taco meal. When it's time to get packed all I have to do is get those bags out and place them in a bigger bag to tote around easier. Keep in mind the size of the fridge and freezer of the place you'll be staying, you don't want to bring more food than you have room for.


   Tip 3:
Get things around the house done before you leave. The worst thing is going to vacation and being all relaxed and having to come back and do a bunch of work! So before you leave get the dishes clean, take out the trash, clean the laundry and put it away, sweep/vacuum, etc. Make a checklist of everything you need done around the house, you don't have to go crazy and clean the whole place top to bottom, but anything that you will look at when you get back and say, "I need to do (clean) _____", do it before. Definitely, definitely make sure to do dishes and take out trash beforehand though, you don't want to come back to ants or rodents.


   Tip 4:
Don't forget about your animals. If you have animals at home they can't feed themselves, they can't walk themselves, and they don't want to be alone for days. Schedule a close family member or friend to come over, feed them, and spend a little time with them or pay to have them at a kennel. Personally I'd prefer them to be in an environment where they're comfortable and not feeling completely like you've dropped them off and abandoned them, but sometimes that's not an option and that's understandable. Just make sure they're taken care of. 


    Tip 5:
Don't forget entertainment. Very rarely are you going to be CONSTANTLY entertained on vacation, you'll have time before bed or first thing in the morning where there's nothing to do so you'll want to bring things for those times. If there's a DVD player bring DVDs and CDs. If there's several people bring card and/or board games. Laptops, cell phones, portable game consoles, etc. Do not forget the chargers! 

   Well I hope I've helped at least a bit. If you have any other tips I may have forgotten and/or not thought of please feel free to comment on this post. Happy vacation!

7 Months

J and I have been together for over half a year now! It has been amazing! I can honestly say I didn't know guys like him existed, he's so different from everything I'm used to. He always treats me as his equal. He listens to my feelings, wants, concerns,  and dreams. If I don't want to cook no big deal we either go get food, he'll cook or we fend for ourselves.
I absolutely love and adore him! I cannot wait to see what the next 7 months have in store for us ❤

Love Is Timeless

It's been almost 5 months now since we've started dating. I can tell you I love him and that I can't picture my future with anyone else nor do I want to picture myself with anyone else. I would be perfectly happy to say yes if he proposed to me in one year, one month, one week, one day, or one minute from now.

     I know several people would say that we're moving too fast, however if you could feel exactly what I feel maybe you could then understand. Yes, if I look at my calendar it tells me it's been nearly 5 months, but if I feel with my heart it's as if we've been together for years. Even thinking back it seems like everything before him was another life.  I simply can't explain why, it makes no sense, but there's no denying that he and I have a connection. I can now say I know what it's like to find someone and feel like they were made for me. No one has treated me so well, no one has been as forgiving of me and my faults and flaws, no one has comforted me so much, or made me feel this much. #SorryNotSorry if the length of my relationship doesn't meet your standards. Let me take this moment to burst your bubble, numbers don't mean much in all reality. We're 6 years apart, me the elder, but even I often forget that because his maturity. It's been nearly 5 months, but I've been with others for 8 years, 2 years, 1 year, etc and I never felt the way I feel about him.

    Yes, I will admit there are several people running in and out of relationships all oh I love this person or I love that person and sure for a moment of my life I was that way, but I took some falls and learned some hard lessons, I put up some walls, lived heartlessly and then without even realizing it I fell for this amazing guy. He's was my friend first. Meeting at work, talking almost all night at work, talking about anything and everything under the... moon (we work at night lol), being open, honest and bold about everything, no judgement. He's effortlessly broke down my walls and helped me to be a better person. Not only is he good with me and for me, but he's great with my son as well and that is beyond important.
    Love has no time or age. There's no set age for falling in Love and theres no set time of being together before falling in love.