Tip(s) To Keep The Love Going #2

  Relationships, they're hard work even when you're with the person you're meant to be with. The sacrifices and selflessness can be exhausting.
Don't waste all your energy on someone who isn't worth it. Trust me, if you use all your energy on someone you aren't supposed to be with in the end you'll end up resenting them and eventually hating them.
Not every relationship is meant to last, some are meant to teach you lessons and to make you stronger. Once the lesson is learned leave.
Now as I said relationships are hard work so don't just give up when something goes wrong. There will be things to work on even with Mr or Mrs Right.
However if you've been with someone and you've communicated and months or, heaven forbid, years have passed and they keep doing things they shouldn't and aren't listening to you and your thoughts and feelings then it's time to leave. You've done all you can do now it's time to do something for yourself.
Leaving is scary, but living the rest of your life having the same fights and never feeling happy, constantly depressed and either overeating or under-eating is no way to live.
Your unhappiness not only hurts you it hurts your loved ones; friends, parents, and your child(ren) experience your pain too even if you don't realize it. Take my son for example he knew things weren't right in my marriage even now, 2 years later, says, "You and daddy fought" he was young but he knew. Children are better off growing up knowing that love doesn't look like that. I will admit my family was rooting for my marriage and not my happiness and it made things harder, but not impossible. One day I stopped listening to them and what they wanted and I took a look at me and my son and what we truly needed then I took the first step.
Love is not on again off again, cheating, fighting, yelling, and hitting.
Love is having an argument and taking a moment to cool off then sitting down and talking, love is cuddling up together, random kisses, lovingly and without judgement correcting the person when they're wrong (NOT standing by their side and agreeing with them when they're wrong!), love is protecting them by never purposefully doing anything to hurt them, love is NEVER lying to them even if what you have to say is going to hurt them, love is allowing them to have feelings and choices and a voice in your relationship, love is noticing the small things that they've done (even if it's a small as they've cleaned the dishes but the whole rest of the house is a mess. You still thank them for doing the dishes without a "but you could or should have done ____")...
Loving someone does not mean they are the one for you. Don't miss out on The One because you have love for this one. Had I stayed in my marriage I would have missed out on The One, a love like I've never known, understanding and compassion, a bond, a spark, a best friend, someone who wants to have those little life arguments with me, who wants me to correct him lovingly when he's wrong, someone who wants to randomly dance in the kitchen with me,...
I'd love to be able to only give advice to make every relationship last, but then you would miss out on the person you've been waiting for your whole life... Nothing is worth missing out on that...
I can give the advice, but you have to make the moves. Be bold, be strong. There's more strength trapped inside of you than you know and you'll never know if you don't take the leap. It will hurt but it will get better, I'm living proof.

Tip(s) To Keep The Love Going

   If you're like me you have a lot of past hurts and sometimes when your boyfriend (girlfriend, fiance, or spouse) upsets you, you tend to withdrawal.
Common sense: withdrawing from someone you love hurts your relationship.
If you really love them you don't want to do something that is going to damage that relationship, you want to do things to help it to grow and last. So I wanted to share something I do all the time, no matter my mood, even when I'm upset at my guy.
Kiss them randomly while you're going throughout your day together. Be it at the grocery store, sitting on the couch watching tv, while you're cooking and have a spare second, at a restaurant, etc.
Kiss them while they sleep; it doesn't have to be on the lips you can kiss their cheek or forehead, arms or back. The point isn't to wake them or even for them to know (no harm done if they know though) it's to help your personal love for them to continue to grow.
And kiss them even when you're upset/mad at them. I know that can be hard, but if you really love them think of it this way.
If something was to happen to him (her) or myself how awful would I feel later or how awful would they feel about that being the last moment? How much would I regret not putting aside how I'm momentarily feeling to kiss him (her)?
That thought can bring me to tears and have me running to wherever he is. That moment of hurt and pain is not worth the possibility of an eternity of "I wish I would have"

I know for some what I said is a "duh" but even people who know this fail to put it into practice. Practice it.
I'm not saying you have to kiss them while they sleep every day, maybe just once a week take a moment to kiss them, watch them sleep and just remember how lucky you are to have them.
However, you should be kissing every day. Couples need that intimacy. No, I'm not talking about the kissing that leads to the bedroom, though that needs to be happening too. I'm talking about the simple PDA kiss that's appropriate to do in front of all ages, it's amazing what that simple kiss can accomplish.
One of my favorite things J does is just wraps an arm around me and places a 3-5 second gentle kiss on my head. He does this at home when no one is around, at family dinners surrounded by our loved ones and in the middle of stores surrounded by strangers. Its a simple moment that lets me know he loves me and it always improves my mood.

9 Months

   J and I have been together 9 months! Our 1 year anniversary is slowly, but surely creeping its way here. I'm excited for it to be here, but honestly it feels like we've been together SOOO much longer.
  For those who don't know J and I met in March of 2017, on my birthday. We met at work, it was his first day. Normally I don't talk to people I don't know, but people kept saying he looked SOO familiar and I had to know why, so I asked him. We've been talking ever since that day, not as people interested in each other, but as friends.
He had a girlfriend at the time and I was hooked on some idiot who thought he knew more than me. He talked about his things with his girlfriend and I talked about what was going on with the guys I'd been interested in.
We went to breakfast together after work sometimes, text each other when we weren't working, and we talked nearly all night long while at work. Over the months he grew to be one of my best friends.
After around 4 months of us talking and being best friends his relationship ended and every attempt I'd had at being in a relationship had failed.
Since we were both single we started hanging out a lot outside of work just as friends, going out to eat, celebrating his birthday, going to the fair, etc.
Before I knew it I realized I liked him as more than just my best friend though I was terrified I would end up hurting him after all the pain I'd been dealt in the past. I knew he already liked me though he denied it constantly. I admitted that I liked him and we've been a couple ever since, though I still made him officially ask me, which he did about a week later. Lol.
I fell for him quickly, after all he was my best friend already and we had talked about nearly everything completely open and honest before we'd started dating. He was easy to fall for because he's so different from what I'm used to. It's safe to say he is The One. I can easily see myself growing old with him, even when he's upset me. I may be wishing life away, which I certainly don't want to do, but I'm so excited to share all the new stages of life and of our relationship with him.  I couldn't have asked for anyone better 💗