Too Real

I had a nightmare this morning.
In the dream I was laying in bed asleep with my boyfriend. Suddenly I was startled as my son came in the room and started crawling into bed with us. I fell back asleep to be awoken again by my son having crawled back into bed with us after he'd gotten up for whatever reason. Once again id fallen back to sleep and then I felt a presence close to my face and felt breath in my ear as an unknown man spoke quietly into it, I cannot remember what he said, but it wasn't pleasant and he wasn't supposed to be there. It terrified me and I held my son close.
There was a minute or two more of the dream that I can't quite remember all I know is it was moments or fear and terror the dream felt so real that I couldn't go back to sleep. I even checked around my place to make sure no one was here. All the while allowing my boyfriend to sleep because I knew it was just a nightmare. It's amazing how the mind can cause things to feel like they're actually happening.

Unrecognized Damage

Sometimes we don't realize the amount of damage a person has done to us until much later. For example I was attempting to fix breakfast and I kept messing things up and then managed to burn my finger. Now don't think I'm a completely awful cook I most definitely am not, just breakfast isn't my thing.
Needless to say I was feeling like a failure due to burning myself out of my own stupidity and not getting the eggs to cook the way I want. Also I can be a perfectionist so this just doesn't go over well anyways. Burning myself was the last straw so I woke up my boyfriend and said I may as well stop trying to pretend I'm good at this wifey stuff and that there was food in the kitchen but I wasn't sure how good it would be.
While I was married one of the common fights that occurred was about me not cooking. Now I'm cooking more because I want to and I don't completely hate it, but there's a fear that I'll disappoint my boyfriend, that he'll be mad if I don't cook, if I mess up while cooking, etc. However, I know he isn't that way. He cooks, I cook. He likes my cooking, says I'm a good cook. He's understanding and always appreciates what I do even if it doesn't turn out as I hope. My fear isn't from him it's from all the fights I had before I ever even knew he existed.
As I attempted not to cry he held me and told me everything was ok. He kissed my head and assured me as he always does. Never tearing me down, always building me up.
I'm sad that the fights from before can still cause this fear, however without them I could never appreciate what a great guy my boyfriend is.