Michael Cooper - He Chose to Love Me As His Own

   I was attempting to share the obituary on Facebook and I kept trying to think of something I could say, but it all seemed lame or far too long for a Facebook post. So where better to go than my blog?
   

   I met Mike when I was 4 years old, he and my mom got married when I was 5. I didn't much like him. He was rude, pushy, bossy, always go-go-go. I often screamed, "I hate you!" at him. He took that for a while but then I was told to never say I hated a living thing, I could say I disliked them, but not hate. It was explained to me that hating someone meant I wished they'd never been born. I still didn't like him, but I did stop telling him I hated him. I didn't like having him around, I didn't like that my mom was constantly being pulled around to do stuff for the business, take him to the doctor, or to watch grandkid(s). Yes, I was young and I needed my mother, but I was horrible to him; I didn't understand him, I didn't appreciate him, and I never could look past everything to see what all he was doing for me. 

   I learned a lot from him; tying my shoes, riding my bike, how to mow, drive, check my oil, air up my bike tires, ride a 4wheeler, change a doorknob, drive a Kubota, bobcat, forklift, backhoe, etc. He taught me things that I know I've forgotten or possibly just forgot that he was the one to teach me.  

    He had every right to want nothing to do with me; but no matter how many times I'd screamed that I hated him, no matter how many times I hurt his feelings, no matter how many times I was a complete brat he chose to love me and he chose to treat me like I was his own daughter. He was there for all my school plays, award banquets, church plays, etc. 

   When I was 16, I believe almost 17, my mom was getting a new vehicle and they were taking her old one to trade-in. I loved her old vehicle and I sat in it and cried at the car dealership because we were about to give it away so instead of trading it in he made me a deal and let me buy it off of them. 

    As I grew up I started to look past how he acted and I saw what he did for me. I learned to love and respect him. So when I got married at 19 for the first time I couldn't imagine him not being there to walk me down the aisle so together he and my dad gave me away. 

   When I was 20 I was buying my first house with my then-husband and Mike was there to help every step of the way; meetings at the bank, going to look at houses, etc. 

   At 21 I had a cat pass away. We hadn't had her really all that long, but she was a great cat and I just loved her so much. I called my mom crying and they both showed up. He could have easily stayed home, but he came over and gave me a hug because it's what I needed. 

   I had my son when I was 22 and he was there waiting in the waiting room for HOURS, nearly the entire day. He came in to hold him after he was born and came back the next day and I'm pretty sure he was there the day after too. 

Over the years Mike and my son created quite a bond and it was obvious to everyone around how much they loved hanging out together; Kubota rides, 4 wheelers, trips to the bank, sitting together in church, working at the motel, going to Wal-Mart,... they were often seen together. Grandpa was top of his list of people.

   When I was 26 I got separated and divorced at 27, Mike was there to help every step of the way. Giving me rides to work, helping me find a cheap vehicle, helping me find a place to live. I would come home from work and there would sometimes be toilet paper, ramen noodles, a single burner hot plate, and other simple things that he would drop off for me; he didn't need to, but he did because he wanted to make sure I was going to be alright. On those days I would come home and cry because I was so thankful. 

   Last year my then-boyfriend and I bought a house and he was there to tell me how proud he was of me. This year we got married out in the cold, on a snowy day he was there for that too.  

                       The running theme is if he could be there he would be, every time.  

Doctors thought he wouldn't live past 40 years old, but we were blessed with 25 extra years and I'm so glad I was given the extra time to attempt to make up for how horrible I was to him as a child. I'm happy I realized his importance before he passed because now I know he left this world knowing I loved him. 

                              

   I have no clue what the rest of my life has in store, but I know I'll be missing him. I'll miss him at every holiday, birthday, big life event; but I'm so grateful that he isn't in any more pain, he isn't stuck in a chair, he's free. 

  Tomorrow will be hard. Next week will be hard. The whole rest of this year will probably be hard. I know some people don't like it when people pray for them, but this family isn't that way, we appreciate the prayers and know that we need them so send them this way.   

   

     Mike was an amazing man despite his flaws. I will forever have great respect and love for him. As I once wrote to him "there is no better man than a man who will raise another's child as their own" and he did that every day.