I. AM. NOT. OKAY.
Some days I am, but not today. Today if I stop moving for too long I just want to cry. If I stop moving I start thinking and today if I start thinking I think about him; him being my step-dad that passed away just over 7 months ago. I think about how I would give anything, well just about anything, to have the little moments with him back.
Let me hold the flashlight while he tries to fix something and gets frustrated at me when I accidentally move it from the right angle.
Have him teach me one more thing, just like he always did.
Give me one more awkward conversation because even though I love him I have a really hard time talking to him.
Just one more hug
Just one more I love you
...
But I don't get one more, my moments with him are over and sometimes that's just too hard to deal with, too much to feel.
One day I'll be okay
But today isn't that day
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