Blocked *Adults Only* (No, there's no pics or graphic details ya perv)

   Let me start by saying I love my in-laws, the whole lot, so when I say what I'm about to say don't think of it as a lack of love. I am sure most, if not all, married people or people in a serious relationship have experienced this same issue one time or another. When thinking of it it's actually quite funny... later on, after a few days or so. Some of what I'm going to say might be a little TMI but I'll say it anyway. 

   Don't you just love getting c*ckblocked by your in-laws? 

   Now as I said I love them all and they don't mean to, but I can only think of a couple times where we saw them, any of them, and I still got to have intimate time with my husband. Unlike when I was in my previous marriage, I actually have a sex drive now, a fairly high one at that; it helps that I found someone who can actually make me orgasm, I love him more than I have ever loved any man, plus (not to be rude BUT) a better tool😉. 

   I'm going to stop on this for a moment; I seriously never once orgasmed in my previous marriage. I was 28 the first time I got to have the full experience of intimacy. I always wondered why people talked about sex being "SOO GREAT!" and now I know. It wasn't something that just happened easily, but for once I had a partner willing to focus on me and take the time to figure me out, which is the way it should be. There's the saying that goes something like, "Nice guys finish last because they make sure their woman comes first." It's so much easier for a guy; a woman takes work, we have to be in the right mindset, we need the foreplay, the time to be made to feel special, loved and, sexy. Don't bother to be intimate with someone if you aren't willing to put in the work to make it enjoyable for them as well.

   Anyway, as much as I appreciate the time spent with my in-laws, it is very frustrating wanting time with your spouse and not being able to have that. I know you could say "Just go to sleep a bit later", but we're adults, we have jobs, a kid, it's not like we can just push aside our responsibilities, and most of the time we've already pushed our bedtime back because they stay up WAY later than we do, that's what happens when you work opposite shifts. 

I just had to give this somewhat comical rant. I lost it when I looked at Jordan and said, "Your family is a c*ckblock!" 🤣     

   

I'm going to be bluntly honest about something...

I. AM. NOT. OKAY. 

Some days I am, but not today. Today if I stop moving for too long I just want to cry. If I stop moving I start thinking and today if I start thinking I think about him; him being my step-dad that passed away just over 7 months ago. I think about how I would give anything, well just about anything, to have the little moments with him back. 

Let me hold the flashlight while he tries to fix something and gets frustrated at me when I accidentally move it from the right angle. 

Have him teach me one more thing, just like he always did. 

Give me one more awkward conversation because even though I love him I have a really hard time talking to him.

Just one more hug

Just one more I love you

...

But I don't get one more, my moments with him are over and sometimes that's just too hard to deal with, too much to feel. 

One day I'll be okay

But today isn't that day