Believe it or not, I've been where you are. I had a love. I loved him so much. I would have done anything for him. When he was near me I was home and when he had to leave me it was like having my heart ripped out. But you see I loved him, he didn't love me. He started too, but like you he couldn't let go of an ex.
I spent months crying, being depressed, praying, hoping and waiting. One day I realized that I was waiting for something that would never happen. So what did I do? I did the hardest thing of all; I let go.
How do you let go? When thoughts of him would creep up I'd force myself to remember what he'd done to me, how he treated me, how he hurt me, how he didn't love me. Whenever the old him would come to mind I'd force myself to remember that isn't who he is, I'd send some love for who he was and what could have been and then I'd put my mind on something else. I forced myself to relive the pain so I could let go because holding on wasn't healthy. It hurt like hell, but it was necessary.
Will you ever do what's necessary or will you continue to break your own heart?
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