I Don't Believe You

   No, I don't believe everything you said. I believe you do care about me. When you're around me and away from her you're a better person. You don't have the conversations we've had with someone you don't care about. You don't say you feel like you belong with someone that you don't care about. Here's me calling bullshit!
   Do you know what will fuck a person over more than anything else? The past. "Well it used to be", "he/she used to be", etc... fuck you over every single time. You're to busy holding on to what was once there that you're willing to ignore what's it I now. Trust me I know I've been there. 
   I broke my own heart so many times waiting for someone to love me the way I loved them.
    Don't tell me she cheated this many times but she loves you.. uh huh that ain't love. All that fighting you do, that ain't love. The comments you've made about her, that ain't love.
    I'd bet (And win) she's better in bed. Being with as many people as she's been with that's a given. She's clearly not shy about it. I am. I take time. If you knew my whole history with it maybe you'd understand why. Sure that's a turn off, but I'm not always this way after I get fully comfortable around you, learn more about you. You once said relationships aren't all about sex. You're damn right.
    So No, I don't believe you don't care about me. I don't believe you never wanted anything from me....
   People like me we fall easy and we love hard. In case you don't get what I'm saying; you broke the heart of someone who loves you (me). Don't ask me how it's possible that I do, I can't explain that, but I do. You broke the heart of someone who would never cheat on you, wouldn't lie to you, wouldn't use you... And yes, someone who would have fought just as hard for you as you did me.
  As much as I don't  want to move again until I'm buying a house I would move into a bigger place to fit us all because it's be worth it just to be with someone I care about.
    What I've said won't make any difference even if you do happen to read this... But at least it's been said.
I'm sure there will be more later, after all this is my therapy.