Alone

  The word alone can give two different feelings depending on where you are in your life. If you're like me and you're depressed and it's from love and if you also deal with depression like me you receive both feelings when the word alone comes to mind.
   Feeling one is peace. You long for the quietness of your own home away from the hustle and bustle of it all, including your friends though you love them so. You crave that space where you don't have to do anything or be anyone, no expectations, no people feeling sorry for you, just you being you and for lack of better term licking your wounds.
   Feeling two is pain. As much as you crave that alone time you also crave that time with the person you're longing for. You want to be alone, but alone with them. Being around people is a cruel reminder that you can't be around the one person you want most. Being away from home takes all your strength And sadly you find yourself crying while out be it at work, the grocery store, McDonald's drive-thru, or wherever because you've hit your breaking point.
  They say, "Alone doesn't mean lonely." and that can be very true. However I'm currently alone and very lonely.
  This is the time I pull away from everyone; friends, family, co-workers, you name it. I pull away because I can't handle it. I can't handle being around people. I can't handle my emotions. I can't handle the pain. Please don't think I don't love them I know they only wish to help, however I long for the quiet, dark nothingness...