Listening To Your Head VS Your Heart

   The heart is a funny thing. Even broken and hung up on someone you can find yourself interested in another. I'm clearly broken and hung up so I know what I'm talking about. So in my case I was interested in this person before all this other shit happened. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being interested in someone else even in this state, so long as you're single.
   If you aren't single and you find yourself interested in another you really need to question your relationship because clearly something is missing.
   The last relationship or "relationship" didn't work for a reason doesn't even matter what the reason was... the heart wants what the heart wants, but sometimes you have to go with your head and try something or in this case someone new. Just because we want something and we want it to work doesn't mean it's what's best for us, often times the head knows the truth, but the heart is too ignorant.
   Love isn't always enough. That was not a fun lesson to learn. I have loved and been tossed out like garbage multiple times and for that reason I find it hard to tell someone I love them.
   Recently I was told if I would have said how I felt things may be different, but we both know better, you continue to make the same choice no matter how bad a decision it is. So I love you, but I don't believe you. If it was going to make a difference than it would have made a difference when I told you. It's ok, it'll be ok. I'll survive. I know you think you're some survivor, but you aren't. Surviving is making the fucking hard decisions, surviving is dealing with the pain, dealing with the loneliness, dealing with the change, even getting loose PERMANENTLY from someone you love... someone recently said, talking about you, that "he has no backbone" and it's true otherwise you would have done the right thing by now. They also said, "He's so full of life" Which is extremely true and attractive so fucking attractive, but they continued by saying, "but she drains the life right out of him." Also undeniably true I've seen it. When you two are a couple you look exhausted and drained. Everyone hear me. No one, NO ONE should be with someone that drains the life from them. The person you love is supposed to be your strength, you were mine. I know at least at some points I was yours. I remember you saying, "You make me feel important." I remember feeling sorry for you because how could you be with someone who doesn't make you feel important? Anyways, I make you feel important. Why? Because to me you are important, that simple. Did you have to buy me anything? No, you hadn't bought me a damn thing and I was fine with that. Did we have to have sex? No, we hadn't at this point. Did you have to spend every moment with me? Nope. Did you even give me the girlfriend status? No. Still you were important to me because of the way I feel about you not because of what you can give me, do for me, buy me, etc. You should also know that during the time we talked even though I had a FWB I wasn't with him (I, however, sometimes made it sound like I was to make you jealous... and I know it worked), only once you went back to her did I do anything with him. Without title, without commitment, without a damn thing I was yours, only yours, because that's who I am. I am loyal and faithful to the one I care about. Why am I saying this? Hell if I know! Because I know it won't change a damn thing, but I guess I just need to say it.
   You know if you care about someone friend, family member, or whatever you should want them to be with someone who'll actually be faithful and love them right. Don't sit back and cheer over a fucked up relationship, if it's on again off again relationship someone needs to Gorilla glue, duct tape, weld, etc that fucking on off switch to permanently off. If you think that's a good relationship, baby, I feel sorry for you because you've clearly never known real love.

Oh I NEED to stop ranting right now. 

   My whole point is get away from people and even things that you may love, but that aren't good for you. Will it hurt to do so? Yeah, of course, it's going to be a pain like no other; it could have you up all night and puking up acids from all the stress and being upset.. Been there, done that, but I'm better for it. Don't be afraid to lose someone that's no good for you. Be afraid to never find and experience the person who will love you and only you with a true and unconditional love.